March Newsletter, 2024, The Importance of Wellbeing in Divorce

March Newsletter:

The Importance of Prioritising Wellbeing During Divorce

Going through a divorce can be one of the most traumatic experiences in life. It's a time filled with a rollercoaster of emotions, uncertainty, and major life changes. Bearing this in mind, as a divorce coach, I have seen how important it is to prioritise yourself. I've seen the influence maintaining mental, emotional, and physical health can have on your wellbeing.

We all have values that guide our decisions and actions.  They reflect what is important to us, what we care most about.  Once we have identified our values, they can help play a significant role in shaping how we navigate divorce.  Aligning your actions with your values helps you to keep a sense of authenticity and empowers you to make decisions that honour yourself.

Establishing healthy boundaries will really help in protecting your wellbeing during divorce proceedings.  Boundaries are not threats.  What they provide is space and freedom to live our values without being compromised.  This might include setting realistic limits on communication with your ex-partner, respecting differing views on the same situation, agreeing acceptable topics for discussion with family and friends during this time.  Learning to communicate these boundaries can help prevent unnecessary conflict and, importantly, preserve your emotional energy.

Learning to let go of what no longer serves you is a hard but important tool. Letting go of unrealistic expectations, resentments, or attachments to material possessions helps bring the process to a more civil conclusion. Holding onto bitterness only prolongs the pain and hinders the healing process.

Alongside letting go, is the importance of learning not to try and control every aspect of the divorce process.  Once learnt it can be incredibly liberating.  We cannot control what we can’t control... Learning to focus on what you can control, such as your own actions, attitudes, and behaviours is liberating and helps conserve your energy. Trusting in the legal process and seeking guidance from professionals when needed is the best way forward.

Self-care is often mistaken for being selfish.  This is not what self-care means. Divorce can stir up a mixed bag of emotions including grief, anger and sadness. Acknowledging, and taking time to process these feelings is part of the process of healing. Activities that help relaxation and self-reflection, such as meditation or yoga, journaling, or spending time in nature, can help keep relieve stress and keep you on a more even keel.

Prioritising your overall wellbeing means seeking support when needed. Whether it's through divorce coaching, legal help, or leaning on trusted friends and family members, having a strong support network can make all the difference.

Maintaining a healthy wellbeing during divorce is not a luxury; it's a necessity. Keeping yourself healthy and strong in both mind and body gives you the best chance of a calm divorce.  By prioritizing self-care, establishing healthy boundaries, letting go of control, and aligning with your values, you have a greater chance of finding your way through with grace and resilience.